Empty Nest Syndrome

I am feeling bereft. My big baby, my almost- grown- up- and- able to- stand -on- its- own- two- feet baby which I have fed and filled and nurtured, has left home today. I have had to part with him even though I had got used to his solid presence in the study, patiently standing to attention, waiting for more filing, eying me wonderingly day after day.

I have filed him full of every bit of ordained life, public and private, that I could think of, every report, summary, reflection, mark and record of my comings and goings over three years since I said 'Yes, send me, fill me' and in return they sent me a large black folder and said 'fill it.'

I didn't ask to give birth to this difficult thing; the gestation was long and tortuous, but as with all unwanted pregnancies, you eventually become somewhat attached.  At first you cannot ignore the appetite, the constant craving for attention. Only you can satisfy its needs. Fill me, fill me, it cries. Sometimes I didn't understand its cry; I was confused in the early days. What would be an appropriate level of filling?  Was this a cry for more filling or less? Was it happy or angry? Too full or still hungry? The insides of a strange young being are only understood by experts, but I was the one having to fill it day after day, worrying about whether it was the right filling, worrying whether the filling would be regurgitated and I would have a lot of mess to clear up afterwards and thus be a bad parent. Parent envy stalked me: other parents seemed to understand their offspring better. They knew just what was needed to fill them, fulfil them.

Time has gone on. As with all parenting I have gained experienced. I have poured myself into this being. It is wholly part of me, which is why separation is so hard. Our memories are shared. Do you recall at the start I couldn't even....?! Or that awful time when.....?! Then again I was so proud of the time when.....! 

I hope the people who encounter you will appreciate the life and death that has gone into you, the personal struggles and costly learning that fills you. I hope they'll like the coloured tags I put on you so others would get the complex, often funny, and occasionally maddening picture you are trying to represent (you don't know how to speak yet, but in a way you do). Your plastic wallets are many and smooth and sleek. Your grids are straight, signed, and, hopefully, impeccable. Your learning outcomes are cross referenced to within an inch of their vocational, ministerial, spiritual, personal, characterful, relational, missional, evangelistic, collaborative and qualitatively faithful life.

But even all that doesn't really tell the whole story. When all's said and done, the early morning panics, the night time worries, the weepy walks; the scary schools, the chilly morgue, the wet graveyards, cold churches and warm homes; the lonely streets, stuffy lecture rooms and musty vestries; the hopeful young, the wrinkly smiles; the hilarious, the demented, the whole and the broken; really and truly, others can stare at you and coldly leaf you through; they can dissect, moderate and compare you with an ideal, but when all's said and done, they really did have to be there.

Good luck my Ministry Development Folder.

'That they may be one.'

Two into one?
Sculpture at Highmoor Hall

Revelation 22: 12-14; 16-17; 20-end

‘See, I am coming soon; my reward is with me, to repay according to everyone’s work. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end... 

...The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come.’
And let everyone who hears say, ‘Come.’
And let everyone who is thirsty come.'

John 17:20-end

‘I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 

Do you ever wonder what the church is for?

In days gone by (we might call it during Christendom) it was obvious…perhaps…

The church was for hatching, matching and dispatching; i.e. baptizing, marrying and burying people.

Today the majority of the population appears to live lives unconcerned with the things of God, and of the church.

Vast numbers of young people have dropped out of the church in recent years.

It is largely accepted that Christendom is dead and this leaves is with some big questions.

One of which is what is the church for?

One way to answer this is to see what Jesus said he wanted for his church, and luckily he did just this in the longest single discourse recorded in the NT, a part of which we had read just now.

John’s gospel shows Jesus telling his disciples what his desire for the people of God is…and that includes us.

‘I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word.’

So what was Jesus’ parting shot to all his followers?

‘That they may be one’…

So we’re going to look at what it might mean to be ONE; what example we have within the Godhead and why it’s so important.

Firstly, what does it mean to ‘be one’?

One is a fundamental word; the basis of all counting; the foundation upon which everything else is built.

We talk of ‘one flesh’; ‘one heart and mind’; ‘as one’.

All these denote unity of heart and purpose.

To ‘be one’ is a good thing.

It’s in stark contrast to the individualism and its consequences that we often see around us.

Individualism is occasionally a good thing…each person is different and unique and should be valued as such…

Eg. We treat siblings according to their uniqueness…

But it can be, and often is, taken to extremes:

On Radio London the other day I heard a debate about August born babies in primary schools…

In our current education system, an August baby is seen to be disadvantaged because they come into school later than other children to Reception class, and particularly with summer born boys, they are seen to be behind in their class work because of it.

The suggestion was made that in ‘exams’ (I’m not sure if they were referring to National Curriculum tests in this, or later exams) each child should have test streamlined to their age in years and months…

It’s complicated already without trying to get a system whereby August and July birthday children can be graded entirely fairly alongside their winter counterparts; I cannot imagine any computer could ever devise such a thing; it’s individualism gone mad…

By the time children get to secondary school everything evens out anyway, and if it’s five year olds we’re talking about, they shouldn’t be taking exams (and they’re not!)

Jesus says ‘may they be one’.

How can the members of God’s family be one when we all like different styles of worship?

We have four different Sunday service just here in this small village! (Parish Communion; All Age Worship; Evening Prayer and BCP Communion).

Obviously there’s some crossover, and it’s natural that with different ages and backgrounds we are drawn to expressing our faith in different ways communally.

So haw can be ‘one’?

What is the theological mandate for one-ness as laid out in the gospel today?

The clue is in verse 21. Jesus says ‘As you, Father, are in me, and I in you…’

That’s the high order of one-ness we are to aim for.

Jesus and the Father are one.

Does this mean they just merge with each other into something indefinable?

No, they maintain their distinctiveness.

The early Christian Councils were at pains to show that each of the three persons of the Trinity was distinct in their person-hood; yet one in mind, purpose and substance.

Remember our Creed: ‘of one being with the Father’

This is straying onto the material for Trinity Sunday of course…!

But that’s too how we should be with one another.

We are all different; we see God in different ways; we express our understanding of Him in different ways:

To some, quiet contemplation is the way God is known; to others, the vibrancy of musical instruments, the louder the better; to others, God is unchanging and steady; to others the Spirit is unpredictable and surprising.

All these points of view are correct of course.

We all need to enlarge our vision of God.

So if we’re all going to different services Sunday by Sunday, how practically can we be ‘one’?

Some suggestions: Go to a different service for a change!

What do you experience of God there that you haven’t experienced before?

Come to a mid-week event: Thursday Prayer in June or a Coffee Morning if you’re free.

Come to one off events like our forthcoming Spring Fayre. (May 18)

Attend joint services: if we all did that on the same day, we would be around 60 people!!!

If the Christian Church is not expressing one-ness across boundaries, we cannot hope to be a witness to Christ in the world

Because, finally, this is why Jesus prayed for on-ness: ‘that the world might believe’

There’s a reason why we need to be one: it points to Christ in a fragmented world.

Jesus knew that even the pagans show love amongst their own kind.

If we only ever go to church gatherings where there are people like us, then how are we distinctively Christian?

People naturally divide over barriers of age, gender, class, economic status, church-goer, non…

We are called to be inclusive and different.

So to sum up:

1.      Jesus calls us to ‘be one’.

2.      How? Like he and the Father are one.

3.      Why? Because a fragmented world needs to see God’s love expressed in the church, the body of redeemed people whose unity points towards the final end of all things: ‘The Spirit and the Bride say Come!’

 Amen.

Contemplative Cat

                                   Contemplative Cat

If I could sit like you,

still,

staring at the green

light on grass,

the emerging pink of apples

hanging in the moment;

slowly blinking at

the inconsequentialities of

existence; eyelids heavy

with the wisdom of

doing nothing;

if I could unhurry; attend;

savour;

like your soft purr,

your fur

soaking up the seconds,

sun on skin, rain on glass,

day on day, life on pause;

if I could sit like you,

still,

ignoring the wound

of words, the gash of flesh

peeled back to reveal

something raw, it would heal

in the waiting.

If I could sit like you,

still.

3D God

Sixth Sunday in Easter

Revelation 22:1 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city.

John 14: 26-7 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 

·         Is your vision of the Christian faith 2D or 3D?

·         I was pretty skeptical of 3D cinema when it first came out.

·         I’ve always found the cinema larger than life and extremely noisy anyway (not in a bad way but they have really beefed up the surround sound in recent years.)

·         But now you can go to see a movie with 3D glasses on and it fairly jumps out of the screen at you.

·         Try The Life of Pi, like I did, with 3D glasses, and the tiger with whom the boy hero is shipwrecked is absolutely terrifying! As is the very realistic capsizing of the boat on which Pi and his family are travelling.

·         For children growing up today who have never been to a 2D cinema, I would imagine seeing a film in 2D now would be a very tame experience.

·         Today we have a vision of the city of God set before us which is decidedly 3D.

·         The book of Revelation is perhaps the most 3D book in the whole bible.

·         What does it show us of the Christian life? How can it enlarge our vision of the peace and power available to us as we Christ today?

·         We will look at this vision of the glorious City, the New Jerusalem, and particularly at the river of life which runs through it, and think about that river as a spiritual image for us here in our village, to see if we can begin to see in 3D…

·         Revelation is full of terrifying images of dragons, beasts and warfare; but also the most beautiful and beatific images as well.

·         Is the book of Revelation about heaven?

·         I am constantly uncomfortable with the word ‘heaven’ because of the images it conjures up, which I find rather 2D; images of wispy clouds and disembodied people floating around or not doing very much.

·         We celebrated this week the life of much loved priest in the Memorial Service to Angela Butler, someone who devoted her life to an energetic and active serving of her Lord and God.

·         I cannot somehow imagine her sitting around in a whitish space not doing very much but being quite peaceful…

·         We often say of the dead: ‘May they rest in peace’ and in many ways they may be at peace, but there’s a second part to that prayer: ‘And rise in glory.’

·         ‘Glory’ is a word implying something active and alive; and that is the picture of the Holy City in Revelation.

·         We can begin that exciting life here and now, and it continues when we inherit eternal life

·         Let’s look at the 3D vision of the Holy City:

·         It has no temple for its temple is the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb (in other words, it’s not buildings orientated.)

·         It has no need of sun or moon because the light of God is so bright within it.

·         This light is like divine guidance: the Kings of the earth walk by it.

·         And there’s a river running through the middle of it.

·         Settlements have always been built on rivers, because of the need for refreshment of course: they bring life to everything.

·         The river is described as ‘bright as crystal.’

·         It flows right through the middle of the city, down the city street!

·         And the tree of life grows on each side, producing fruit which nourishes people in every season.

·         What a different picture from many of the world's cities.

·         What a different picture from war torn Syria, where in Damascus, armed militia are roaming the streets and daubing crosses on the doors of those they plan to kill, making it one of the most dangerous cities in the world at the moment.

·         In the light of this violence, Obama is even considering arming the other faction so they can retaliate, a move that has little support across the world...

·         It’s a far cry from the Holy City, the city where God is so present everyone can see him face to face, where the good things that grow there heal people, instead of killing them.

·         Our gospel is one of the readings often chosen at funerals: ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you…do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid.’

·         When we remember that Jesus spoke these words on the eve of his own violent death, we know he must have meant a kind of robust peace which can stand up in the face of all sorts of trouble; not just an airy fairy, vague feel good factor.

·         We pray for peace because power without peace is often misused; but perhaps peace without power is too vague an idea to effect change in very difficult areas of the world.

·         And perhaps we need the power of God as well as his peace in our lives; power to be transformed from the inside out.

·         Peace and power are brought together in the person of the Holy Spirit of course.

·         Returning to our 2D/3D image, when someone mentions the Holy Spirit, I wonder how you picture him?

·         Francis Chan has written a book called ‘Forgotten God’, subtitled ‘Reversing our tragic neglect of the Holy Spirit.’

·         Because the Holy Spirit is often the neglected person of the Godhead.

·         If you have trouble picturing the Holy Spirit, try picturing that river in Revelation.

·         Ezekiel, a prophet in Israel’s history also had a vision of the Holy Spirit, connected to a river

·         In his vision the river began shallow - he started to wade in it, led by an angel, and it was ankle deep.

·         He was beckoned to go in further; it became knee deep.

·         He was beckoned in further; it became waist deep; even further and he couldn’t wade anymore; ‘it was deep enough to swim in, a river that could not be crossed’ (Ezekiel 46:5).

·         ‘And the angel said ‘Mortal man, have you seen this?’ (next verse).

·         Have we seen this Spirit?

·         Can we be envisioned by the Spirit for our life here?

·         Have we experienced the rushing, the nourishing of something (someone) who’s alive and available to us every day?

·         The life of that Holy City starts when we turn to Christ and open our lives to the Holy Spirit: He is the river which waters our lives and our communities.

·         We have ample illustration of that river here in Whitchurch, with our own Thames, which frequently bursts its banks after too much rain.

·         You cannot hold a river in; it’s ‘alive and goes where it will.

·         Yes, it does offer a tranquil setting as summer dawns; everyone is drawn to a river which reflects back the blue sky on a cloudless day.

·         But remember the river is about life and sometimes it’s quite unpredictable.

·         Perhaps we could imagine a figurative river of life running through us here… down the High Street, past The Old Stables, up the drive and past the church door, blessing and healing as it goes; even through the church door…?!

·         We are part of that river, inhabited by the Spirit, needing renewing every day.

·         As we recall Jesus’ words ‘My peace I give to you’, we also remember he sent the Holy Spirit to fill us for service and mission.

·         He even said that it was a good thing he was going to the Father; otherwise no Spirit

·         They might have wanted to hold onto Jesus forever, in bodily form, but he said ‘do not cling to me.’

·         Perhaps he was trying to get them to progress from 2D, to 3D vision…

·         If we let God enlarge our vision from 2D to 3D, what will that look like in Whitchurch?

·         It will be a vision that sees our community and all its life through the 3D lenses of God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

·         As we approach Pentecost, may the life of the Spirit of Christ nourish us and give us hunger for more, as we wade out into the river, even to the point of swimming.

The trace of God

What does it mean to be human?

If you had to come up with an interesting discussion topic for a church to offer to the community, what would you chose? 

A pretty good one might be: 'What does it mean to be human?' which just happens to be the title of a new series which began today on Radio 2, with the Chief Rabbi, Jonathan Sacks, as first speaker being interviewed by Jeremy Vine in the lunchtime slot. It's a captivating topic and straight away we were pitched into a dichotomy between theocentric and anthropocentric views of humanity.

Jonathan Sacks, of course, maintained a theocentric view of what it means to be human. For him, reflecting on the Holocaust, when humans attempt to be more than human (mini gods, with the power of life and death), they end up being less than human. It's Genesis 1 all over again. However, the Judeo-Christian ethic held out the possibility of repentance and forgiveness, even to the worst offender. For him, the ultimate test of being human was asking 'can we see the trace of God in the face of the other?' He was asked did he think that when people succumb to their worst side, they just bring out the evil within? He rejected that, saying that humans were intrinsically good; 'evil' being the sum of their bad choices, which sometimes lead to the unimaginable suffering of others. He distanced himself from original sin in this, not that he mentioned Augustine, but I imagine that what what was on his mind.

Whether we think that people are by definition capable of evil, or whether evil is the result of bad choices, the Chief Rabbi's view was firmly that the divine spark was at the centre of our humanity - we are made in the image of God. Jeremy Vine gently suggested that in saying this he immediately alienated a large number of listeners who would have the human race at the centre of their own universe. But God is not an idea, if you're a practising Jew; He is the source and end of all being.

It's not often you hear God brought into the 'secular' debate on existence; not often you hear someone with such deep yet gentle conviction. God was not a soapbox to get up onto, nor a struggling being who needs constant defending, but instead, it seemed, a deep and steady knowledge of being loved and held, even through the valley of the shadow of death, quoting the 23rd Psalm as Lord Sacks did.

Which is why what it means to be human will always bring up the clash of worldviews. Either we find our full humanity in the Godhead or we are the masters of our own destiny, mini Renaissance men and women who have done away with 'the idea of God' and who will sort out our own mess, if we don't consume ourselves first. I wouldn't hold out much hope for the latter position, despite knowing some of the nicest atheists...

Deep Water

Easter 3, Year C. 

John 21:1-19

'Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you have no fish, have you?’ They answered him, ‘No.’ He said to them, ‘Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.’ So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the lake'.

 

In 2010 the artist Si Smith was commissioned to paint a series of stories about the resurrected Jesus, called Stations of the Resurrection, not set in 1^st Century Palestine but in 21^st Century Leeds, his home town.

The images are haunting and surprising, painted in greys and blacks and situated in streets; outside shops; by the side of roads; by an Undertakers; in a football ground; on a bus: anywhere where ordinary people are going about their business.

The disciples in our story were going about their business again. Jesus had been raised – it was amazing and true – but he could not be pinned down at all.

Let’s hear the story from Simon Peter himself.

Sometimes he just appears, like when we were in the upper room. It scared us witless! Thomas wasn’t present then - he got such a shock when Jesus came back and said ‘Put your hand in my side – stop doubting and believe!’

But other days it was just hum drum again – back to fishing on the Lake – it’s all we ever knew.

We had begun with this. Nothing special. We were always fishermen. He came to the shore that first time and said ‘I will make you fishers of men’.

So back in the boat. Nothing doing though. Fished all night long. I don’t know about fishers of men – we can’t even catch fish!

Just after daybreak a figure appears on the shore. Didn’t know who it was at first.

‘Children, you have no fish have you?’ he calls.

Correct! Then he suggests we put the nets down on the other side. We’ve nothing to lose so we do.

It’s like the apocalypse!! Suddenly so many fish we can hardly haul the nets in.

John, always quick off the mark, shouts ‘It is the Lord!’ He’s right of course. How could we not see that?

I’m out into that deep water, quick as a flash. I just have to get to him. The others drag the boat in, fish and all, nets straining but not breaking.

He’s got a fire going. Grilled fish in the sunshine. Best breakfast I’ve ever had. Breaking bread with the Master. 153 fish!! Best catch ever. And it’s all because of him…

I didn’t expect the conversation though. He is so insistent when he puts his mind to it. Three times he asks me ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’

He knows I love him – why keep asking? In my heart I know the answer but don’t want to admit it.

Anyway, three times: Simon, son of John – feed my lambs; tend my sheep; feed my sheep.

And the bit about the belt and being taken somewhere I wouldn’t want to go. Didn’t like the sound of that.

I didn’t want to follow him to the cross the first time. But I will do next time…

Si Smith’s contemporary paintings of resurrection accounts number 19 separate depictions of post resurrection events.

We’re told that this appearance on the lake of Galilee is the third appearance of Jesus to his disciples.

But Si Smith marks the following:

·        The earthquake

·        Mary Magdalene finds the tomb empty

·        The disciples run to the empty tomb

·        The angel appears to the women

·        Jesus meets the women

·        The road to Emmaus

·        Jesus in the upper room

·        Jesus breathes the Spirit on the disciples

·        Jesus appears to Thomas

·        Jesus promises the Spirit will come

·        Jesus commissions the disciples

·        Jesus appears at the lakeside

·        Jesus confronts Peter

·        Jesus and the beloved disciple

·        Jesus appears to more than 500 at once

·        Jesus commissions the disciples on the mountain

·        The ascension

·        Pentecost

·        Jesus appears to Saul

(I have the Church Times reprinting of them here if you would like to see it afterwards).

His point is to remind us of the reality of the resurrection and it power within lives in the here and now.

Whatever we take from the story of Jesus on the shore of the lake and his conversation with Peter about feeding his sheep, it would seem that there is always deep water between us and Jesus.

For the disciples, the deep water represented their natural environment for daily work – the daily work of fishing.

Nothing glorious or miraculous in it – until a resurrected man appears on the shore asking them to fish from the other side, and the catch is clearly miraculous AND reminds them that they will be catching people from now on…

For Peter the deep water represents a call to deeper discipleship. He’s denied his Lord before; now there will just be obedience – obedience to death on a cross.

What is the deep water between us and Jesus?

To follow Jesus has always been the call of disciples, whether in the 1^st or 21^st Century.

Deep water is not for the faint hearted. Bu definition we will be out of our depth.

Some of us felt that on our Lent Course. To begin to share our faith with other people is deep water. What if they don’t want to listen? What if they don’t care about Jesus? Yet what if it’s just what they need to hear?!

Here is a challenge for us from this gospel today: what is the deep water that Jesus is asking you to step into as you follow him in this Easter season 2013?

Perhaps it’s the deep water of the challenge of ageing. John Pridmore in his commentary on this story of Peter’s challenge writes this:

‘When you are old someone else will take you where you do not wish to go’. The primary reference is to Peter’s martyrdom….but Peter died a long time ago. If we allow the text to speak to our own time, it may have other things to say. Many of us, in the wealthy world at least, will grow extremely old. That will be our cross. In our final infirmities others will take us where we do not wish to go. If we’re lucky and can afford a good nursing home, they’ll no doubt look us after us very nicely. But our frail and failing flesh will be in their charge, not ours. Someone else will ‘fasten my belt’. I won’t even be able to do up my own trousers.’ (p. 139, The Word is Very Near You)

Or maybe your deep water is actually someone else’s and you are having to go through it with them – a sibling who’s in trouble; an elderly relative; a son or daughter or grandchild or neighbour. To follow Jesus for you is to accompany this person through some very deep, dark water.

Or maybe to follow him means to branch out into a new area where there is no compass save trusting in his guidance. When my colleague Angela Butler knew she was dying, she said to the rest of the Team that this facing up to death was the last part of her ministry. It was her deep water. She crossed it boldly with Jesus.

Whatever your deep water is at this time, don’t let the depth and the seeming danger of it put you off following Him. He’s still calling you: ‘You haven’t got any fish have you? Cast your nets on the other side. Bring some of the fish that you have caught. Take and eat this bread. Follow me.’